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Captain Naija Complete

So obviously I am a Captain America: Winter soldier fan boy. Shoot me!

*dodges bullets matrix style while dancing makossa*

It was a fantastic movie that deserved more than my money’s worth in ticket sales you should go right now and see it!

After watching it I thought what if this movie had been cast in Nigeria? For some weird reason Jim Iyke was the first person to come to my mind. And to play the role of Samuel L. Jackson who else but the distinguished Pete Edochie.

All jokes aside though, Nigeria needs heroes, the level of disrespect and lack of consideration for each other is disheartening. I have currently been trying to renew my drivers licence for the last 9 months (you would think I was pregnant) and the way with which the road safety treat people is appalling. Everyone seems to be on edge and wants to take it out on everyone else. We have the lunatics that call themselves drivers on Lagos roads, weed inspired bus conductors, inconsiderate neighbours just to mention a few of the numerous Nigerians who don’t send you.

I think if you gave a typical Nigerian an AK47 and N50,000 to randomly shoot people on the street he/she would probably do it….

*sigh*

So do you think Nigerians are this bad or I’m exaggerating things?

Drop a comment below

 

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Whose song is it anyway?

Aside

DrSIDGood evening Ladies and gentlemen and welcome to your beloved program “WHOSE SONG IS IT ANYWAY?” The show that questions the paternity of the songs you love! I remain your ever vigilant and charming host Laji Dwayem!!!

* Holds up APPLAUSE sign*

On today’s show we’ll be featuring the song that has become a fan favourite across the hustler’s home aka the city that never sleeps; Lagos (Eko ni baje!!!!). That song that preaches the virtues of patience and perseverance no matter how unique or improbable your situation is.
The one and only……. SURULERE REMIX by Dr. SID ft Don Jazzy, Wizkid and Phyno.

* Holds up STANDING OVATION sign*
*asks Dele Momodu to sit down*

With Wande Coal no longer a member of the MAVIN(gers) I’m sure the good doctor will be happy that his career is no longer eclipsed by the dark one. But will the lime light stay faithful to him or he will have to share her with others?

*To Dr. Sid’s fiancée, Lime light is not a Calabar girl out to get your man, rest assured he is all yours. Sid you owe me one*

And now a word from our sponsors:

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BRIBENA…we are the fix to get you out of a fix”

You are welcome back to our program “WHOSE SONG IS IT ANYWAY?” We now take you to the next segment of our program.
Our qualified experts at the Laji Labs (located in a secret government funded facility in Nigeria) ran the song through their special Keke-Napep powered servers using powerful Diezani Madueke modeled algorithms to come up with some very interesting results.
It was found that there was a large variance in the amount of time for each Artiste’s verse on the song. And here is the outcome:
*drum rolls*

Dr. SID – 39 seconds
Don Jazzy – 102 seconds
Wizkid – 56 seconds
Phyno – 40 seconds

We now turn it over to you the audience: “WHOSE SONG IS IT ANYWAY?”
P.S. – Did anyone else notice that Wizkid went off topic again? (Wetin “consign” Caro with Surulere?)

What song

What’s good my people.  Yes I disappeared again, I swear it wasn’t my fault. I cannot categorically tell you why I’ve been missing but my oga at the top will clarify *points to the sky*. Yes I know that joke has lost its steam, but even till this day when I see the video I still burst into laughter. 

Ok enough about that let’s talk about today’s post. This post is going to be totally different from all my previous posts. There won’t be one piece of artwork in it…..
I hope you aren’t disappointed….

There are going to be Three!

But to make this post complete I will need you.  *YES YOU! *

below are 3 images that represent either the title or a line from a popular Nigerian song.

Put in your answers in the comments section and you could win a prize!

It’s good to be back and I wish you all a fantastic week ahead.

image

image

image

jaGO!

In the last 18 months we have seen break up after break up in the music industry. First it was Knighthouse and Mo’ Cheddah, then D’banj and Don jazzy, May-D and P-Square, Davido & Asa Asika, Wizkid and Banky W and now Jesse Jagz and the Choc Boys (please pardon me if I mixed up the order of events). Like really who is next??? BlackMagic & Icon? (Tufiakwa! *spits on ground*)

Why all this conflict? Have these individuals been suffering in silence prior to this and finally couldn’t take it anymore?
Jesse Jagz’ case for me is so alarming because he and his brother MI have worked together as a team for so long. I guess a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.
It’s possible there might be some bad blood (this is speculation based on certain events that occurred). In 2009 Jesse dropped his 1st album JAG OF ALL TRADES (the one with a Terminator type effect applied to Jesse’s face. The person who designed D’banj’s Entertainer album cover should go and check it out and see how good work is done) to this day I listen to it and think it is a very fresh album but there was no big hit from it. There were a number of honourable mentions like the tracks Sugar cane baby, Nobody test me, Jago, Intoxicated ft Wizkid & Soul E, Wetin dey . Truth be told, the album was not pushed very well and didn’t get the publicity it deserved. Besides that the mixing and post production on some of the songs was really poor. I don’t know for sure but those things might have made Jesse feel side lined.

The thing that makes me wonder now is how is he going to cope after Choc Boys? Hi current song “Murder them” is getting good air play both on radio and on TV but is it strong enough to jump start a solo career? (In the song he subbed Mo Cheddah, at the time she was still with Knighthouse and the rapper Phenom replied with his own version, y’all should check it out).

Of the two brothers I actually prefer Jesse’s music production but the truth is MI is a better rapper and people person. I have heard of a number of cases where Jesse pissed some people off and MI had to handle damage control, now that he is no longer under his big brother’s wings there are some things he will not get away with.
All in all I wish him all the best in his career and hope he has made a wise decision that will drive him far away from the music career graveyard (Eedris Abdulkareem anyone?)

Have a Gold

The truth is I never paid much attention to Goldie but she kept finding her way into my life through pop culture references. Despite this hearing about her death was a shock and very saddening. She seemed to be on the rise and was just beginning to reap the fruits of her labour.

In honour of her please find below this poem written by The Poetic Nerve:

 

 

Have a gold,
Was what the industry was offered,
Accepted not,
In raw form it was,
Later they appreciated the privilege,
Brushing the gold till she shined,
Criticisms made her better,
Opinions fading,
As it didn’t really matter,
Forward she went,
Even with draggers behind her,
Her smile so colourful,
Painting other faces and making it glow,
Pleasant and soft she was,
Yet braver than the jungle king,
Off the cliff she fell,
Just when the peak was near,
The heavens have a gold,
In harvey gold.,
Our goldie.

Adieu Goldie

 

Nerve also known as poetic nerve,is a columnist,poet,publicist,poetry blogger,artist manager,OAP,Diplomat by degree.

He writes for Alariwo,an online group of writers,He’s said to be an excellent writer,you can draw your opinion by visitingwww.poeticnerve.wordpress.com or www.alariwo.org

Hard Times for EMEazy?

Web

First and foremost I want to wish you a prosperous 2013 and my apologies for the break. I’ve had alot on my plate and needed some time off to reassess some things in my life.

I’m glad to inform you that your boy is back!!!!!

B-)

For those who don’t know there have been rumours that Wizkid (aka Star boy Weezy) has left his record label Empire Mates Entertainment (EME). The label who is represented publicly by Banky W has not issued any reply to confirm or debunk this piece of gist. All we can do is wait and watch and for those of you with lives forget it ever happen.

I would like to put forward a theory concerning the conflict.

I am going to say that it was eventually going to happen!!!

Ask me why?
*waits for response*

I put it to you that since Banky W is an ambassador for Coca-cola and Wizkid is one for Pepsi there is no way that the bad blood between the 2 brands would not flow into their relationship! 😀

I’m Just kidding….no Efa… 😀

Seriously though its interesting how two members of TeamEME represented 2 brands that have had the biggest rivalry in history of modern marketing and now those 2 members are in conflict. Personally I think its a conflict of interest and if it was the USA, EME would not have gotten both deals from Coke and Pepsi.

Let’s take a quick look at the beef (no burger….my punchlines are too hard!!! :D) between Coke and Pepsi.

Coca-Cola was born in 1886 (about the same time Arsene Wenger started coaching Arsenal :D) and was ranked as the most valuable brand of 2012 (for more info check HERE) Coke was initially marketed as medication and was said to cure headaches and impotence (LMHOOOO). Today its marketed solely as a soft drink and is sold in every country in the world except Cuba and North Korea.

Pepsi, very much like Wizkid, is the younger brand and was born in 1893 under the name Brad’s drink but was renamed to Pepsi-cola in 1898 and finally Pepsi in 1961. And very much like Wizkid its likely there would have been little opportunity for Pepsi to shine if Coke had not created the market. On 3 different occasions Coca-cola had the chance to buy Pepsi but declined, little did they know the company would come back and bite them where the sun doesn’t shine. The Pepsi brand is known for celebrity endorsements and has used people such as Michael Jackson, MC hammer, Spice girls, Snoop dog (or is it Lion..) and most recently iyawo Baba Blue… Beyonce (did you guys see the super bowl half time show?).

The conflict between the two brands has raged over the years but one of the most memorable points of the conflict was called the PEPSI CHALLENGE.

It was very simple: they blindfolded people and had them taste coke and pepsi and asked them which one tasted better.

Guess which brand won?

We know for a fact that these two brands will never make peace let’s just hope this is not the case for the 2 members of EME.

So who do you think will come out better if they part ways Banky W or Wizkid?

Identify Ur $€LLING POINT

*If you don’t understand the above image, please check HERE*

Frenzy

[fren-zee]

-n

extreme mental agitation; wild excitement or derangement

Today is the day. The first Solo album from Mavin Records has dropped: Frenzy by D’Prince.

A lot is riding on this because since “The Entertainer” and “The Don” parted ways things have not been the same. D’banj released his less than stellar “Oyato” and the Mavins dropped the soon to be forgotten “Solar Plexus“.

But last week we saw a return to form as 3 singles were dropped off of Frenzy:
Goody bag
Call police and
Real G.

IDJA went all out on Goody bag reminding us of the “Endowed” days…

That song is a JAM and a half

*now playing goody bag* But really what is the GOODY BAG? .

We all know that D’prince’s lyric’s are weaker than a Nigerian Politicians conscience, but you have to give it to the guy. Amongst all the “jibberish” there is a gem or two.

For example in Wizkid’s Wadup:

If you wan know me whudup/ If you no kno me shut up/

and who can forget his classic line on the Mohits all stars TenTen:

hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmmm!

#Classic!

And now he has come with another one!

What’s your selling point/ Do you know your selling point/ Gats to know your selling point/ Identify your selling point!/

It might sound like another platitude but it is deeply profound, take a moment now and stop and ask yourself:

WHAT IS MY SELLING POINT?

In other words what do you have that adds enough value to people that they would gladly pay you money for it. Clearly D’Prince has found his own, now it’s your turn to find yours. 

I’m curious to know how many sales will be made in his first week.

Let’s look at the greatest first week sales of all time

  1. No Strings Attached / ‘N Sync ~ 2,415,859 albums (April 1, 2000)
  2. Celebrity / ‘N Sync ~ 1,879,955 albums (August 4, 2001)
  3. The Marshall Mathers LP / Eminem ~ 1,760,049 albums (June 3, 2000)
  4. Black & Blue / Backstreet Boys ~ 1,591,191 albums (December 2, 2000)
  5. The Eminem Show / Eminem ~ 1,321,799 albums (June 8, 2002)
  6. Oops!… I Did It Again / Britney Spears ~ 1,319,193 albums (May 27, 2000)
  7. 1 / The Beatles ~ 1,258,667 albums (December 30, 2000)
  8. Red / Taylor Swift ~ 1,209,817albums (October 29, 2012)
  9. The Massacre / 50 Cent ~ 1,140,638 albums (March 12, 2005)
  10. Millennium / Backstreet Boys ~ 1,133,505 albums (May 29, 1999)

Omo Oba abeg try join them ooooo!!!!

So who in the Mavin’s do you think should drop the next album?